Transitions are Scary
By Lori Stansbury
I was almost done packing my car. The movers had already taken all my belongings and were on the way to Cincinnati. I walked through my apartment one more time before turning in the keys and driving away. So many memories in this place. Brilliant photos rolled through my mind of great times I had had here in this city. Rollerblading around Lake Calhoun, sledding in Eden Prairie, and navigating years of growth in a company that I helped rebuild. I was happy for my time here and scared to leave it. My head was full of thoughts: “What if my boyfriend never proposes after I move all this way?” “What if his daughter doesn’t like me?” “What if my new job isn’t challenging enough?” “Who will my new friends be?” I hope my car doesn't break down on the way.
I was leaving a great job in Minneapolis, MN, after 4 years of success. I was thrilled to leave the cold weather behind, but unsure of what lies ahead for me as I transitioned into a new life in the same town as my boyfriend to see if we were right for each other. To meet and connect with his daughter, who was seven at the time. To start over with friendships, a new job, finding a new church, and a place to live. I knew no one else in Cincinnati. And yet, it felt right.
I had been through change before. I moved away from my hometown after college. I moved again to Minneapolis for a promotion. Each time, the decision to move and make a change was hard. I liked change and challenges but I also liked knowing the plan and what to expect. That doesn’t happen when you venture somewhere alone. You can plan all you want, but the adventure will take you places you haven’t been before. Some of them are simple, and some are like a wild ride.
This move was a big one because I knew it may be a permanent one, and I wanted to do it right. Finding a place to live where I could meet people and afford to socialize was important. I also knew it was a long way from my family and connecting with them was going to take work. In transitions like this, it is always reassuring for me to know that God is guiding my decisions. I don’t take this lightly because I know and see how hard it is for my friends who don’t rely on God to help guide their life. Having a compass to guide my direction is life-giving.
Since I was about 20, I have been in a relationship with God where I can sense when he is telling me to do something. It might be moving to a new city. Maybe it's taking a different position at work, or even trusting that a man I am dating might be my husband before I felt like that could be true. I can’t say it was a booming voice in my head, or a letter in the mail. It was more of a sense about something that just would not go away. My move to Minneapolis- I sensed God telling me this was the right time and place to move. AND, I sensed it was not the last time I would see my boyfriend. It also didn’t feel like I was going to live there long. It was a temporary home.
When I finally made the move to Cincinnati, I had a huge sense of peace that I was to go. I was leaving a 12 year career for a new job, and trusting that my dating relationship was going to lead to marriage.
Sensing that God is guiding me somewhere is such a confidence booster when you are scared to move. For me, it gives me reassurance that I will be ok even when the unknowns are trying to drag me down. It is like taking your best friend with you wherever you go. You have companionship. You feel bolder in making new friends. You can start that new job with confidence. You are likely thinking, That's cool for you, but I don’t get those feelings or signs from God.
God is always with us and trying to guide us along the path he has for us. Sometimes there is one clear path He wants you to take. Sometimes you have choices, and he will just help you in the one you choose. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your way acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” That verse has been in my head since I was a kid. When you talk to God on a regular basis, you start to sense what he is saying or how he guides you. For me, it happens often in journaling. One of my friends gets signs-literal signs like a road sign that point her in a direction. Others hear things while discussing it with friends. Some read a passage in the Bible and the direction God is pointing becomes crystal clear.
If you are just starting out to hear God’s voice to guide you in your big life decisions- experiment. Ask God big and small questions. Notice if you tend to get answers after a bit. How did you get them? Making your way through transitions is scary, but asking God to guide you can make them more like an adventure and less like jumping off a cliff.
My transition went very well. I got a great job in Cincinnati. I have spent the last 28 years here and it is home. I married the guy and will celebrate 27 years of marriage this month. The daughter did love me. I have a whole bunch of friends here in Cincinnati and I keep in close connection with my family. The joy and fruit that comes from walking through transitions is worth the fear and uncertainty of navigating it.
You might be in a transition right now. Whether you are heading to college, starting a new job, or becoming a new parent, here are some tips for navigating transitions:
Decide that you are going to go for it- Don’t second-guess your choice, jump into it. Give it all you’ve got.
Try new things. If it’s a new place, make yourself see new things, try new foods, and meet new people. Change your habits.
Don’t look back too often. Sometimes our change in moving forward gets interrupted when we keep looking back at where we were. Stay present.